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Bob Bradley Facts

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Bob Bradley Facts
by FFI Soccer Magazine, Subscribe Today

Over the past year and change the American soccer public has gotten to know a lot more about US Men’s National Team Coach Bob Bradley. Those steel blue eyes, that coarse powerful voice, and that commanding stature. One look at Bob Bradley and you’ll know that he is someone that you NEVER want to mess with. We asked around and came up with the most remarkable Bob Bradley facts that prove that he is the toughest coach ON EARTH.
• Bob Bradley can kill two stones with one bird.

• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Bob Bradley.

• Bob Bradley once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

• Bob Bradley has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

• Bob Bradley doesn’t actually write stuff down. Words assemble themselves out of fear.

• If you have five dollars and Bob Bradley has five dollars, Bob Bradley has more money than you.

• Bob Bradley always knows the EXACT location of Carmen San Diego.

• Bob Bradley ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.

• The chief export of Bob Bradley is pain.

• Bob Bradley can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass…at night.

• Bob Bradley doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

• If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Bob Bradley says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

• Bob Bradley clogs the toilet even when he pisses

• Bob Bradley’s dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Bob Bradley will not take shit from anyone.

• Bob Bradley once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn’t even in a bowling alley.

• When Bob Bradley goes cow-tipping, he lifts a cow up and drop kicks it into the neighboring farm. All the other cows simply tip themselves over to keep from having to walk back in the dark.

(Sure, you might be saying to yourself that we stole these facts from Chuck Norris. All we have to say is that Chuck Norris recently saw a couple videos of Bob Bradley and now if you Google “Chuck Norris Facts” all that comes up is a picture of Bob Bradley. True story.)

Comments

Good humor. He is one scary mo-fo. Nice to see people not taking themselves too seriously (Bradley excepted of course).

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