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ABC’s much anticipated sitcom Cavemen will premier on October 2. The Geico Insurance commercial turned Seinfeld-like program has critics and cult fanatics debating a long term appeal.

A story leaked to Megged Magazine has LA Galaxy President, Alexi Lalas, guest starring in the premier. The neanderthal front-office-leader, of MLS bottom dwellers, has been linked to return to the broadcast booth for ABC’s ESPN next season. It seems both Victoria Beckham and Lalas have hidden acting agendas.

Calls from Megged to Cavemen, ABC, Lalas and the Galaxy were not confirmed as no calls were made to confirm any truth to this story.

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Sources close to Megged Magazine have heard that rumors are flying that Cobi Jones has been casted at the spawn of Predator, in the series next motion picture. Jones, who is playing out his final year with the LA Galaxy, is entertaining offers to transition into the Predator series due to his eerie resemblence to the Hollywood monster.

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This summer Chicago Fire will welcome the Shrek-like beast Cuauhtemoc Blanco. Good luck to Chicago and the Section 8 fans who have to deal with this guy.

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Sources close to the Meadowlands have seen Juan Pablo Angel consuming cans of Red Bull before each match. Angel, ironically named, since the drink offers consumers wings after drinking the Austrian-made beverage has been Major League Soccer most outstanding player so far this year.

A recent article, Illegals Being Given Red Bull & Ephedrine, has been written by a local San Antonio paper on how immigrants are getting pumped up on the beverage before crossing the border.

In any event there has been no better endorsement than Angel and his ability to find the back of the net. Calls into immigrants crossing the border, Angel and the Red Bulls were not immediate returned.

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Unconfirmed reports surrounding the radio show "World Soccer Daily" have stated the hosts have been eating callers who disagree with Nick and Steve. Any listener who has shown an opposing point of view has been devoured whole.

Visibly Steve and Nick have gained hundreds of pounds since the show has progressed through the prem campaign. Sources close to Steve or Nick wouldn’t comment on other issues to the enormous weight gain although they didn’t dismiss the fact that Manchester United has owned the EPL this season as a cause to the overindulgence.

The apparel maker has warned both radio personalities that they cannot tailor larger Chelsea or Liverpool jerseys. Currently Nick is wearing a 7XL and Steve’s filling a 5XL jersey. Calls into the show were not understood because Nick was in the middle on eating a Arsenal fan and talking with his mouth full.

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Megged Magazine sources were tipped off that Rondaldinho's performance in Mel Gibson's Apocalypto will be nominated for the Academy Award’s Best Actor. Earlier this month the recently naturalized Spanish soccer star was voted FIFA's third top player.

An Oscar would certainly separate 10R from his fellow Brazilian born predecessor, footballer-actor Pele, who starred in Hotshot and Victory.

Calls to Mel Gibson were not immediately returned.

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Sources have told Megged Magazine that Bruce Arena met with Saddam Hussein to coach the Iraqi National Team. This has been a rumor for quite a while and speculation has resurfaced when a photo was discovered.

See Photo: http://www.goal.com/images/3140_news.jpg

Unnamed informants in Iraq have said this photo was uncovered in a raid on a Bagdad Palace with it’s own soccer field where the meeting could have taken place before the Persian Gulf War II.

Insiders speculate on what would of happened if the war never took place. Could Arena have signed with the Iraqi’s freeing up the US MNT to sign Guus Hiddink prior to him signing with the Russian’s?

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Sources in NY City confirm to Megged that United States Soccer Federation President Sunil Gulati hosted a Halloween Party for the NY Red Bulls coaching staff and Jurgen Klinsmann.

Residents, of Gulati’s Brooklyn burro, claim Gulati went as Superfan, Arena wore a DC United polo from the 90’s complemented by John Harkes, Jeff Agoos, and Ritchie Cunningham wearing United uniforms from those glory days. Klinsmann went as a German version of Jeff Spicoli, “Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” and was only allowed to speak Spanish (per Gulati's request). John Harkes still laughs when anyone says “trick or treat, chicklets por favor.”

Eric Wynalda is thinking about a making a fat joke with Arena stealing all the candy but has decided to go with his better judgment.

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Confirmed Megged sources have told us that Landon Donovan is set to announce his retirement from Major League Socccer and the Los Angeles Galaxy. After a frustrating year with the Galaxy and the Men’s National Team Donovan has called it quits from 11 a-side soccer.

Sources close to the Beach Soccer League (‘the BSL’) boast of a 5 year deal with the soccer star. A press conference will likely be held on the Manhattan Beach Pier or city’s ‘strand.’ Details will follow.

This decision is a world away from the European football clubs that have called Donovan’s name since he was sixteen. However ‘Cakes’, as he is known in the town’s surfing community, is looking forward to his next soccer challenge.

Donovan, a resident of Manhattan Beach, was overheard at Ercoles Bar, the local beachcomber’s hangout, as saying ‘Life’s a Beach.’

Calls and instant messages into the U.S. Men’s National Team coach were not immediately returned.

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Megged sources close to the story confirm a serious row on the Real Madrid bench. Both David Beckham and Ronaldo are experiencing friction in the Bernabeu locker-room due to the Major League Soccer contracts offered to both players.

An unnamed Real player has stated that neither player will sit next to each other on the bench. “It’s a difficult situation as both those guys spend so much time there.”

The feud stems from where the former world class players will end up in America. Neither player will comment on the New York Red Bull vs. Los Angeles Galaxy disagreement. However, both players confirmed to Megged that neither want to play for the Columbus Crew.

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